


Don't cry for me.

by fhujami



Series: Safest place on earth. [4]
Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Crying, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kissing, Light Angst, Memories, Sharing, Sharing Nightmares, Talking, sharing memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 19:10:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11538639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhujami/pseuds/fhujami
Summary: To made you to talk about your incident, Sam choose to tell you his story.





	Don't cry for me.

**Author's Note:**

> God this part was killing me! It's still no as good as I hoped, but I cannot re-write it anymore, or I will give up. Thank you being patience.
> 
> Please let me know if this is pure s*it.

You and Sam were sitting in his apartment at his couch. You sat in his armpit and laid your head on his chest, hugging him. His warm, muscle hand were around you, and he gently smoothed your shoulder. He had asked if you wanted to come to his place, after your visit to the police department, to maybe to talk. You accepted his offer, but you didn’t talk. You just wanted to feel his warm body next to you. You were amazed what kind of impact his present had to you. 

_ “You really should talk with someone.”  _ Sam finally said to you and broke the silence. There was a little bit worriness in his voice. You wanted to say to him that you don’t need to talk, as long as you are with him. But you swallowed your words and just pushed you against his warm body.

“ _ If you keep everything inside of you, it’ll eat you from the inside slowly and painfully.”  _ You lifted your head from his chest and looked at him. It felt like he was talking about experience. 

Sam was looking forward with glassed eyes and you got really scared seeing him like that. Finally he blinked and turned to face your gaze.

“ _ I know what I’m talking about.” _ He said and dragged a strap of hair behind your ear. You felt how he sighed deeply before he lowered his gaze and started to lift his shirt up. You pulled back from his armpit and followed his hand with your eyes.

Finally his bullet scars were showing.

“ _ You have seen these, you know that I was in prison, but it’s time to tell the full story behind them _ .”

You turned your eyes to his face and waited. When you were walking the park days ago, he had told you how he was in prison for thirteen years, that he got his scars in there and how he was close to death. But how and why it all happened, it was all a mystery to you.

You looked at Sam, who seemed to be little nervous. You had no idea what he was going to tell you. You were terrified, but also you were flattered that he keep you as an person, who he can talk to.

“ _ So we had got ourselves in the Panamanian prison with my little brother and a guy called Rafe. Rafe had bribed the prison guard to let us in and out safety. But the guard blackmailed us, and Rafe killed him. So we needed to run _ .”

You saw how Sam closed his eyes and swallowed. Your heart started to race in your chest, when you listened intently his every word. You had desired to knew him better, and now he was sharing maybe the most painful memory from his life with you. 

“ _ We were almost getting out of there. One last jump, and we could run to the forest. Nathan and Rafe were the other side and I jumped. Nathan got me and helped me up. Then I felt killing pain on my back. I tasted metal in my mouth _ .”

You saw how he frowned, how he bit his lips, and it looked like he was in pain. You thought that maybe he was re-living the moment again, feeling all the pain again. Maybe he was seeing the moment in his eyes, you couldn’t tell. You felt bad for seeing him like this, so you landed your hand on his knee, letting him know you’ll be there for him.

“ _ I looked my brother’s eyes, I saw how he realized that I got hit, how his eyes turning black and getting wet, as I coughed blood in front of him. I remembered how I looked at him, realizing I couldn’t take care of him anymore, keep him safe like I had promised him ever since we were kids. Then, darkness, my brother’s voice calling me from the distance. I felt how I was falling and it felt like I falled forever.” _

You saw how a tear started to fall down on his cheek. Your heart stopped beating as you followed it falling down to his chin, before finally dropping down on his shirt. 

“ _ May I _ ?” You asked and he opened his eyes and looked at you. He nodded when realized what you had asked, and you carefully moved your hand from his knee to his scars. You felt how he shivered under your touch, how his body tensed. You slightly moved your fingers through the bullet holes, feeling them under your fingertips. You had wanted to do that on the first night you met, but you pulled your hand away. 

Sam followed your every movement with his eyes. He had never let anyone touch the scars before. Yes, they had been touched, but nobody had ever asked if they can touch them, and _truly_ touch them. He closed his eyes again, while feeling your soft touch on his skin.

_ “I was dying. I was numb, I heard nothing, and saw only darkness. Then I was dragged back to life. I heard men yelling, I felt shooting pain inside of me and on my back and side. They patched me up, and threw me to the cell. For the next couple of weeks there was a guard standing in my cell door, making sure I’ll live, so I can rod there for the rest of my life, for a crime I didn’t do.” _

You took your hand from his side, and he let his shirt to fall down. He carefully took your hand, and let his fingers entwined with yours.

“ _ When I started to heal, they took me to the other’s. It was hot as hell and the healing was slow. When I had finally got out from the physical pain, the nightmares started. I had nightmares about the fall for months. There was no-one to talk to. I was alone with my thoughts. I even couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn’t let them know that i was  _ **_weak._ ** _  And I didn’t even knew if my brother had made out of alive _ .”

You bit your lower lip, which had started to tremble, while Sam fiddled with your fingers, still having his eyes closed. His hands were rough, but now his fingers felt like feathers between your fingers. You felt how your eyes started to burn, you were about to cry. Listening him tell you what he had been through, made you feel sad. He had been really nice to you for the short time you had known each others, and he had been the most warm-hearted person you had ever met.

_“But if the whole thing wasn’t bad enough, how do you think it’s like to be in jail with bunch of murderers, rapers, drug dealers, any kind of men who had rod there already for years. Without woman’s touch. And suddenly then there’s a new guy. Fresh flesh.”_

You shivered when you realized what he was going to say next. And you felt how he squeezed your hand gently, still having his eyes closed, while tears started finally to fall down on your cheeks. You had no idea that he would have exact experience.

“ _ There was five of them. I knew there were no use to fight back. I was alone, I had no-one to protect me.”  _

You closed your eyes and felt that awful crushing pain inside of you, but this time it wasn't for you. It was for him. You listen him telling you how the leader of the group had penetrated him. How he had no choice but to let him. And after that, they took him under their wings. How they have now ‘marked’ him, and make sure no-one else touched him.

“ _ Over fifteen years I was alone with my memories, alone with my pain, alone with my nightmares, until I got help. I finally controlled my nightmares. I finally controlled my thoughts _ ,  _ my memories _ .  _ Sometimes I am back in that hell hole in my dreams, but I know how to wake up from that before it got too deep.” _

When he finally opened his eyes and turned to look at you, he saw how your eyes were closed, but they were pouring of tears. He placed his hand on your cheek and you opened your eyes and he saw how they were burning red from the crying.

“ _ Hey, don’t cry for me _ .” He whispered. You opened your mouth to say something, but words were stuck in your throat, so you just shook your head. He wiped your tears from your cheek with his thumb and you swallowed and got the words come out deep your throat, weak as a cloud.

“ _ I’m so sorry _ .” 

He pulled you against his chest and smoothed your hair.

“ _ It’s all in the past. I survived _ .”

You grabbed his shirt into your hands and pushed yourself against him. You felt sorry that he had to made through all of that. That he needed to be alone for all those years. That he had no-one to turn to. You wonder if he had healed fully, there was too much pain and hell to handle for only one person. And you wanted to be the person who’ll be there for him, listen if he needed to talk, a shoulder if he needed to cry, for the rest of your lives, if he just want you.

“ _ So, if you need to talk, and don’t want to talk to stranger… Even I kinda am to you. But, I’ll be here if you want to.”  _ He whispered your ear and even you were happy him to say that to you, you felt like shit. Nothing what you had been through felt now nothing compared to his history. You had a close-call, he had been through hell for years.

“ _ It’s nothing compare what you have been through.”  _ You manage to murmur against his chest and he took your shoulder and pushed you further so he could see your eyes. You got scared for the fast movements.

“ _ Everyone has their own demons. There’s no reason compare them. I had mine and you have yours. This thing will haunt you, if you won’t face it.” _

You couldn’t do anything else, but nod. He was right.

“ _ So, whenever you feel like to talk. I’m here, if you want to.” _ You nod again, and bit your lip, slowly looking his face. You looked his eyes, which were full of pain but also something else, you couldn’t tell what. His cheek had a trail for the tear that fell down earlier. You took your hand and wiped the trail away from his cheek, while you heart were racing in your chest. 

You two stared each others. You admired him for telling you everything he had just did. He trusted you enough. And you trusted him. You will open up to him, but not tonight.  Tonight was his. Some other night, will be yours.

Your eyes wandered down to his lips and you wonder how you wanted to taste them again. You saw how a small smile raise to his lips when he noticed your look, and you raised your eyes to meet his hazel eyes again.

“ _ I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I saw you in that cafeteria _ .” He whispered, dragging another hair strap away from your face, leaving his hand on the side of your head. You chest started to feel heavier and warmer, inside your head you were screaming for hope, and your cheeks started to blush.

“ _ And I thought you even more when you kissed me.”  _ He whispered even quietly, and you felt how your cheeks were now red and hot. He was awake when you did that? Your breathing started to get heavier, when you looked deep into his eyes, wanting him to kiss you.

He grab your head into his palm, and slowly pulled you closer to him, until your lips touched gently and there were no space between you two. You closed your eyes and thought how his lips felt even softer than last time. You answered his kiss and even though he had just told you what kind of hell he had been living, you couldn’t be happier. 

Kiss was gentle and tender, it felt like it lasted forever, before Sam pulled away and you open your eyes and saw his sparkling eyes. All the pain was now gone, filled with hope and happiness. You couldn’t believe that he had just told you he had been thinking about you, or that he just kissed you in the way no-one had ever kissed you. You licked your lips and swallowed, before Sam leaned his forehead onto yours and whispered:

“ _ Would you go a date with me?” _

You nodded your head and barely got the words out of your throat:

_ “I thought you'd never ask ” _


End file.
